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I Surrender

I had a blog already written, but other thoughts kept interrupting me this morning, pushing me to abandon it. My goal is to use this blog as a place to share what God is teaching me. I pray it will not come across as preachy or as if I have it all together. I don’t. I will try to write what is on my heart and mind, and pray that God will use it to show that in weakness we find His strength.

This morning I read Genesis 16-17 as part of my quiet time. In 17:5, God says to Abram “your name shall be Abraham, for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.” God said this as if it were already accomplished – “I have made you”- but Sarah had yet to feel any symptoms of pregnancy!

As I read this, 1 Peter 1:3 kept running through my mind: “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness….”. As I lingered on these two Scriptures, here’s what occurred to me.

With the change in his name, Abraham was called to live as if God had already fulfilled His promise to him, to make him a great multitude. Abraham failed to do that consistently – laughing at God’s statement just a few verses later about Sarah having a baby, for example.

I have the same problem as Abraham. God has granted me all things pertaining to life and godliness. In my head I know that He is sufficient to meet all of my needs not just spiritually, through the truth of the gospel, but my day to day needs for life. Why can’t I live as if this were true? Just today, I am frustrated and angry that for the past couple of weeks, my blood sugar has been behaving erratically during the night. I find myself saying “I don’t need this, God!”. I am denying the truth of 1 Peter 1:3, just as Abraham’s laughter at God’s announcement was a denial of his belief that God could make a 90 year old woman pregnant.

It’s a heart problem. My heart can’t accept that God might have a different plan for me than I do. I think that was Abraham’s problem too. How did he deal with God’s promise? Remember Hagar? Abram had a ‘better’ plan than God’s for fulfilling the promise to make him a great nation. That didn’t turn out very well!

Type 1 diabetes was not on my agenda for my life, but clearly, it was on God’s. So now I am learning to live by God’s agenda. Slowly. Very slowly. I don’t find surrendering to God’s plan an easy thing to do. I want to take control back from Him. I think I have a better plan, one that does NOT include diabetes. So I will remember Hagar. And 1 Peter 1:3. And I will pray that all of us will learn to surrender to God’s agenda, whatever that might include.

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