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The ECC Blog

Your Marriage is about Community

 wedding ring

Understand this: your wedding has little to do with your romance with your spouse. Your wedding is much bigger and eschatological (meaning it reaches to the end of the ages of history!). You make a covenant not only with your spouse by your wedding vows, but the community of the people of God at large. That is in fact the purpose of people attending, testifying to the vows you make. 

Strive to see your marriage in terms of the community of God's people.

Seek out those in your immediate community that will hold you both accountable, those who can minister to you and watch your marriage grow. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You and your spouse will have a thriving marriage only in the context of a covenantal community of believers. You need trusted believers around you who can look into your marriage and help sanctify both of you.

I urge you, husbands, take leadership in your family to pursue this kind of relationship from other couples. Find mentoring for yourself as a man. Encourage your wife to sit under godly women and learn how to be a woman of character and a godly wife.

If you and your spouse withdraw from community and openness with trusted believers, your marriage will suffer for it and slowly dry and choke off. Nearly every marriage I know that has collapsed had early on withdrawn itself from community, not allowing others to peer in and see what is going on. 

God designed marriage to thrive best in community.

This is why marriage is so closely related to festivals and community gatherings in the Bible. God creates a union of man and woman in the context of covenanted believers who together strive for maturation in each other’s marriages. The vows you committed before the community at your wedding bind you not only to your spouse, but to that community.

In a similar way, if you attend a wedding or take part in one, you are responsible to God for that couple. It is not a light matter. I will stand before God one day and answer for how I held others accountable to their wedding vows. If you begin to drift from them, you will have to deal with God, your spouse, and the community—including me.

Ministry within the local church strengthens your marriage.

Finally, marriage in community requires that you are both involved intimately with ministry the rest of your life. O Husband, seek to build a family that is committed to the local church. Flee the contemporary thinking that causes people to see church as a social organization to visit once a week on Sundays. Invest yourselves in the local church, be involved, and build lasting relationships. When you plan your week with your family, make sure your children know the priority of being with the community of the people of God. 

It is in the context of church community that God enables us to persevere unto the final day of salvation. Marriage is temporary; but our walks with God are eternal. God uses the local community to make marriages last until death do we part.

My marriage depends on your commitment to the body; I urge you, be there and make my marriage stronger in the bonds of Christ.